Jeremy Clarkson Ordre des livres

It's been another memorable year on Diddly Squat Farm - will the chickens finally come home to roost? ---- Welcome back to Clarkson's Farm. So, that went well . . . The spring barley crop failed. Just like the oil seed rape. And the durum wheat. Then the oats turned the colour of a hearing aid and the mushrooms went mouldy. Farming sheep, pigs and cows was hardly more lucrative. Jeremy would be better off trying to breed ostriches. But in the face of uncooperative weather, the relentless realities of the agricultural economy, bureaucracy, a truculent local planning department and the world's persistent refusal to recognise his ingenuity and genius, our hero's not beaten yet. Not while the farm shop's still doing a roaring trade in candles that smell like his knacker hammock, he isn't. On the face of it, the challenges of making a success of Diddly Squat are enough to have you weeping into your (Hawkstone) beer, but misery loves company and in girlfriend Lisa, Farm Manager Kaleb, Cheerful Charlie and Gerald his Head of Security Jeremy knows he's got the best. And it's hard for a chap to feel too gloomy about things when there's a JCB telehandler, a crop-spraying hovercraft and a digger in the barn. Because as a wise man* once said, 'there's no man alive who wouldn't have fun with a digger . . .' *Jeremy Number 1 Sunday Times bestseller, October 2024

Odkąd Jeremy trzy lata temu przejął gospodarskie stery, nie może opędzić się od nieustannej pracy. Teraz ma już bogate, z trudem nabyte doświadczenie rolnicze i dobrze wie, że w tej branży istnieje tylko jedna złota zasada: Jeśli masz nadzieję, że coś się zdarzy, to coś nie zdarzy się. Pomysłowe plany dywersyfikacji profilu farmy spotkały się z oporem brygad czerwonospodniowców, odmową rady gminy i spodziewanymi drwinami Kaleba. Choć, szczerze mówiąc, nawet Lisa miała wątpliwości, czy koncepcja Jeremyego jest rzeczywiście aż tak genialna: zbudowanie imperium biznesowego opartego na zadziczaniu i produkcji zupy z pokrzyw. I chyba tylko Radosny Charlie ma z tego powodu dobry humor: cieszy się z nadchodzącej papierkowej roboty, no ale on liczy sobie za godzinę. A co ze zwierzętami? Owce zniknęły. Do krów dołączył wynajęty byk Maestro Uwodziciel. Świnie rodzą prosięta, a kozy okazały się psychopatami. Jednak wbrew krytyce ze strony najbliższych i kolejnym katastrofom (czasami na własne życzenie), Jeremy pozostaje niepoprawnym optymistą co do przyszłości Diddly Squat. Zresztą trudno nim nie być, skoro można zbierać jeżyny odkurzaczem

Another year on the Diddly Squat Farm and Jeremy is still knee-deep in mud and endless challenges. Welcome back to Clarkson's Farm. Since taking the wheel three years ago Jeremy's had his work cut out. And it's now clear from hard- won experience that, when it comes to farming, there's only one golden rule: Whatever you hope will happen, won't. Enthusiastic schemes to diversify have met with stubborn opposition from the red trouser brigade, defeat at the hands of Council Planning department, and predictable derision from Kaleb - although, to be fair, even Lisa had doubts about Jeremy's brilliant plan to build a business empire founded on rewilding and nettle soup. And only Cheerful Charlie is still smiling about the stifling amount of red tape that's incoming . . . But he charges by the hour. Then there are the animals: the sheep are gone; the cows have been joined by a rented bull called Break-Heart Maestro;. the pigs are making piglets; and the goats have turned out to be psychopaths. But despite the naysayers and (sometimes self-inflicted) setbacks, Jeremy remains irrepressibly optimistic about life at Diddly Squat. Because It's hard not to be when you get to harvest blackberries with a vacuum cleaner. And, after all, it shouldn't just be Break-heart Maestro who gets to enjoy a happy ending . . .

Welcome back to Clarkson's farm. At the end of Jeremy's first year, Diddly Squat farm rewarded him with profits of e144. And while he's mastered the art of moaning, challenges still abound. Who knew loading a trailer was more demanding than flying a gunship? That cows were more dangerous than motor-racing? Or that it's easier to get planning permission for a nuclear power station than turning an old barn into a restaurant? Life on Clarkson's farm may not always go according to plan. But not a day goes by when Jeremy can't say 'I've done a thing' and mean it...

Vítejte na Clarksonově farmě. Už když se Jeremy proháněl po světě v drahých autech při natáčení pořadu Top Gear, toužil jezdit traktorem a vyorávat své vlastní brambory. Jenomže musel řídit všechna ta různá ferrari a porsche, takže na farmaření nebyl čas. Pak však přišla covidová pandemie, a tak koupil farmu v Oxfordshiru a pořídil si největší traktor na trhu. A začal se činit. Naučil se nejen pěstovat obilí a zeleninu, ale i chovat hospodářská zvířata a včely. Přestože je největším (na výšku) farmářem v Anglii, nebyly tyto začátky lehké. O svém ročním dobrodružství na farmě napsal sérii vtipných novinových sloupků, které najdete v této knize.

Z czym kojarzy się wam Jeremy Clarkson? Z szybkimi samochodami i zwariowanymi pomysłami? A może z rolnictwem? Dziś pewnie wielu z was częściej postrzega go jako dżentelmena farmera, który zza kierownicy traktora dogląda swoich hektarów, ale Jeremy nie od razu stał się synem ziemi o czerstwej twarzy i dłoniach zrogowaciałych od pracy na roli… Dawniej widziało się go właściwie tylko w rozpędzonym samochodzie spowitym dymem palonych opon i oparami benzyny. To szalone życie przemierzającego świat motoryzacyjnego guru zmuszało go do mierzenia się z nieludzką liczbą okoliczności, w których stawiał czoła głupocie, niedorzecznościom i nonsensom. I choć Jeremy nie należy do osób o anielskiej cierpliwości, zawsze podejmował wysiłek, by swoim ciętym komentarzem i dobrą radą postawić do pionu wciąż zaskakujący go absurdami świat. Tak jest i tym razem – przed wami ósmy już Świat według Clarksona! Dowiecie się z niego między innymi: czy istnieją słuchawki z redukcją hałasu zdolne wyciszyć Jamesa Maya czym grozi kąpiel w wannie z ropą naftową jaki typ obuwia jest odpowiednikiem SUV-a wśród butów co najbardziej pomaga na kaca gdzie można obejrzeć obraz Moneta, szorując nosem po płótnie jaki gatunek zwierząt potrafi przesyłać zdjęcia z Instagrama co oznacza skrót BYY. Tak jak wcześniej, również i tym razem można liczyć na Jeremy’ego, który swoim wyjątkowym poczuciem humoru i niepodrabialnym podejściem do rzeczywistości próbuje naprawiać świat. I to na pełnych obrotach. Tylko nie oczekujcie, że wszystko pójdzie jak po maśle…

Welcome to Clarkson's farm. It's an idyllic spot, offering picturesque views across the Cotswolds, bustling hedgerows, woodlands and natural springs. Jeremy always liked the idea being a farmer. But, while he was barrelling around the world having more fun with cars than was entirely reasonable, it seemed obvious that the actual, you know,…

These days, you might know him better as a tractor-driving Gentleman Farmer, but Jeremy Clarkson wasn't always a horny-handed son of the soil. Not at all. Back in the day Jeremy was far more likely to be found gunning around the world in a haze of burnt rubber and petrol fumes. But life as a globe-trotting petrol-head also meant he was forced endure more than his fair share of foolishness, frustration and downright bafflement. But as puzzling and exasperating as life on the road often seemed to be, you could always count on Jeremy to set the world to rights with a rare wit and unique understanding. And at full throttle. Just don't expect it to all go smoothly

CLARKSON'S BACK - AND HE'S REALLY HAD IT THIS TIME From his first job as a travelling sales rep selling Paddington Bears to his latest incarnation as gentleman farmer, Jeremy Clarkson's love of cars has seen him through some deeply trying times. And in a world so persistently infuriating there's sometimes nothing for it but to throw up your hands and ride full-throttle over the speed-bumps. But as Jeremy raced through there was plenty to ponder along the way, including: · Why nothing good has ever been achieved in a meeting · The side effects of muesli · How to navigate London when every single road is being dug up at once · Why we are forced to share the planet with people who read online reviews of dishwashers · And what, exactly, is the point of a driverless car? It's testing stuff, but happily Jeremy's not quite reached the end of his tether yet. Fuelled by hi-octane enthusiasm and irrepressible curiosity, he's put his foot down again. Seatbelts on . . . _________ Praise for Jeremy Clarkson: Brilliant . . . Laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph 'outrageously funny . . . Will have you in stitches' Time Out 'Very funny . . . I cracked up laughing on the tube' Evening Standard

In November 2016 we woke up to the news that the forthright presenter of a popular television programme had become the most powerful man on the planet. His name, sadly, was not Jeremy Clarkson, but we might not have been any more surprised if it had been. Because the world seems to have taken a decidedly odd turn since Jeremy last reflected on the state of things between the covers of a book. But who better than JC to help us navigate our way through the mess? And while he's being trying to make sense of it all he's discovered one or two things along the way, including: The disabling effects of being vegan; how Blackpool might be improved by drilling a hole through it; the problem with meditation; a perfect location for rebuilding Palmyra; why Tom Cruise can worship lizards if he wants to. It's all been a bit unsettling. But don't worry. If You'd Just Let Me Finish is Clarkson at his best. He may be as bemused, exasperated, amused and surprised as the rest of us, but in a world gone crazy, thank God someone has still got his head screwed on